This was definitely a week of ups and downs. Along with the pregnancy hormonal rollar coaster I realized I was left with inadequate information regarding my subchorionic hemorrhage. If only I had known the questions to ask when I was diagnosed with this issue I wouldn't have been left fearing the worst and hoping for the best all week. I need to know how big exactly the blood clot is because the ER doctor stated it was "small" and that just seems like a relative term to me. For example, small like a poppyseed or small like a baby elephant? I was in such a state of shock I didn't think to ask exactly how many centimeters small means. The second question I have is regarding the location of the clot. I have read that the smaller the clot and the farther away from the placenta the better our chances are of having a happy pregnancy.
The good news is that my bleeding has been decreasing everyday. And I haven't had any more red blood. Just brown blood which I have read is not as concerning because it is mostly likely old blood. I also have little specks in my urine that float. I don't know if they are tiny little clots or bits of flesh or flakes of gold or goodness knows what else.
I have not wanted to call the hospital advice line because EVERY time I call them they treat me like I am just a statistic and remind me the chances of miscarriage and the need to think positive in the same breath. They even told me I should start telling close friends about what is going on in case I need support due to the risk of miscarriage. Wow, I really feel like being super positive after hearing that. But we took their advice and started telling a few people.
I cannot wait to get another ultrasound to see if the clot is increasing in size, decreasing in size, or (gasp!) has disappeared. Our next appointment is on March 7th and I think I will handcuff myself to the hospital bed if they refuse to give me an ultrasound. The ER doctor stated that we would probably have weekly ultrasounds but when I called the midwifery clinic they acted like this was unnecessary because A. there is nothing they can do about the clot anyway and B. miscarriage is a natural thing (they say it like it should be embraced).
My questions (as a social worker) is where does mental health fit into this perspective (aka I need this ultrasound to calm my nerves) and also where is the strength-based perspective??? Can we stop referring to my condition as "threatened abortion" and start calling it "embryo fighting like a warrior?" Seriously. That would actually make women feel like being positive.
Off of the soap box......I have stayed off my feet a lot this week but it's been hard because I am working two jobs (leaving one and starting my new one). Ryan has been a godsend: taking the dog on two plus walks a day, cooking, doing the dishes, and waiting on me hand and foot. I love him. I can't really think of other pregnancy symptoms because all of my energy is consumed with thoughts of a shrinking blood clot and work-related stuff.
Here I am (still mostly baby bloat even though my uterus is feeling really hard through my tummy):
The good news is that my bleeding has been decreasing everyday. And I haven't had any more red blood. Just brown blood which I have read is not as concerning because it is mostly likely old blood. I also have little specks in my urine that float. I don't know if they are tiny little clots or bits of flesh or flakes of gold or goodness knows what else.
I have not wanted to call the hospital advice line because EVERY time I call them they treat me like I am just a statistic and remind me the chances of miscarriage and the need to think positive in the same breath. They even told me I should start telling close friends about what is going on in case I need support due to the risk of miscarriage. Wow, I really feel like being super positive after hearing that. But we took their advice and started telling a few people.
I cannot wait to get another ultrasound to see if the clot is increasing in size, decreasing in size, or (gasp!) has disappeared. Our next appointment is on March 7th and I think I will handcuff myself to the hospital bed if they refuse to give me an ultrasound. The ER doctor stated that we would probably have weekly ultrasounds but when I called the midwifery clinic they acted like this was unnecessary because A. there is nothing they can do about the clot anyway and B. miscarriage is a natural thing (they say it like it should be embraced).
My questions (as a social worker) is where does mental health fit into this perspective (aka I need this ultrasound to calm my nerves) and also where is the strength-based perspective??? Can we stop referring to my condition as "threatened abortion" and start calling it "embryo fighting like a warrior?" Seriously. That would actually make women feel like being positive.
Off of the soap box......I have stayed off my feet a lot this week but it's been hard because I am working two jobs (leaving one and starting my new one). Ryan has been a godsend: taking the dog on two plus walks a day, cooking, doing the dishes, and waiting on me hand and foot. I love him. I can't really think of other pregnancy symptoms because all of my energy is consumed with thoughts of a shrinking blood clot and work-related stuff.
Here I am (still mostly baby bloat even though my uterus is feeling really hard through my tummy):
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