Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Midwife and Another

So, we had our first midwife appointment.  I have always been fascinated by pregnancy.  Seriously, some people are completely awed by the solar system or the idea of quantum mechanics.  Well, that is how I am about pregnancy.  It just blows me away.  And I have always dreamed of how I want my pregnancy to go.  And what type of pregnant woman I will be.  I have also been careful to remember that pregnancies rarely go how you dream them up.  So far, even with ALL of the countless hours of research I have put into pregnancy it is going nothing like I dreamed of.

First off, I wanted to deliver away from a hospital setting.  I probably am one of those people who believe that birth is a natural thing.  I do not think birth necessarily requires many medical interventions.  But that is not the biggest reason that I wanted to be away from a hospital.  I also want to have more say in my birth plan than a hospital birth might allow.  I don't want to be hooked up to anything.  I want to walk around.  I want to do what feels right when it feels natural to do so.  I want options.  I don't want to feel rushed.  I want to be comfortable (okay, as comfortable as you can be when pushing a melon-sized object out of your pikachu).  But really, the biggest thing I want is that comfort!  I know that hospitals save lives.  And I am very grateful for them because they saved my husband's life.  But they also bring back a lot of memories and these are not good memories.  I know that if I am in a hospital, lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to machines that beep, I will be flooded with memories and I will not have the birth experience that I want.

If it was my decision solely I would probably opt for a birth center.  But my husband was not comfortable with this.  And it's his baby too!  We made a compromise and decided to go with midwives INSIDE a hospital.  The midwives will limit the amount of medical interventions as is safe to do so.  And if something bad does happen, I will still be inside a hospital and can get urgent attention.

Now, the reality of the situation.  I have always been plagued with weird medical issues.  I was hoping my pregnancy would be different but alas, no such luck.  First the subchorionic hemorrhange.  I thought that would be the extent of weird medical stuff.  But at today's midwife appointment I learned that the blood test I completed last week indicates that I have a low platelet count (it is supposed to be 150 but mine is only 117).  I now have to meet with a hematologist and have more tests run.  The danger with a low platelet count is that my blood may not clot correctly.  This can cause a high-risk pregnancy.  I might not be able to deliver with midwives.  OR this could just be a weird hormonal thing and my platelet count could return to normal.  OR it could be a sign of some other problem.  Lots of unanswered questions.  Ironically, when I asked the midwife if I could deliver my baby safely with a platelet count of 117 the answer is: Yes, except I would not be able to have an epidural.  I didn't want an epidural anyway so this will just be an absolute to prevent me from getting one.  But man, another thing to attempt not to stress over.  I will get more answers next week.  

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