3 Months!

Happy 3 months old to our sweetest Remi girl!  You are so much more alert these days.  You have started reaching for things with purpose and when you get your fingers around something it goes straight for your mouth!  Your smiles continue and you have added on some laughs.  You only wear 3-6 month clothes now.  Tummy time is a breeze for you and you continue to roll over on occasion.  You also went on your first camping trip!  How many 2-month-olds can say that!?!?  We are very proud you survived it (literally, because I was slightly worried you might freeze to death.....).  I have a feeling there will be a lot more camping in your future because you just happened to be a natural.

Our biggest struggle has been the bottle battles.  Man, you hate it.  Just the sight of a bottle can lead to full out screaming rages where you tense up every muscle in your body.  We have started very slow by just trying to have you make some positive associates with the bottle by playing with it.  A few times you will tolerate letting us put the nipple in your mouth but you absolutely refuse to suck on it. Chew on it?  Yes.  But no sucking allowed.  Which is completely ridiculous because you suck on EVERYTHING else, including your own forearm.  You gave yourself a hickey on your arm the other day!  What the heck, child?!?  The thing that you don't know yet is that you have two very stubborn parents.  We do plan to win this battle because I cannot be around to nurse you 24/7...in fact, next month I have an all day conference that I absolutely cannot bring you to.  I hope things are going more smoothly with our bottle friend by then.

Other than the bottle, you remain the best spirited little lady.  You are just the sweetest.  And thank you for sleeping through the night every night.  Also, thank you for liking to sleep in until almost 9am.  Now, if we can just get your big sister to understand how great sleeping in is.....

3 Month Babe w/ 3 Year Old Sister

Two Months

What lucky parents we are to have a two month old just like you!  I went back to work this month (when you were 6 weeks old) and you must have known because you have been so very kind to us in the sleep department.  You have always been the sleepiest of babies but we especially needed it this month!  You have adjusted unremarkably well.  You won't take a bottle from anyone but me (so smart to know that Mama feeds you!) but it doesn't seem to matter because you just don't eat while I'm at work.  I fear it's too long for you to go without food so Daddy R has been coming half-way through my shift for a feeding.  Because you won't take bottles I have over 200ozs of breastmilk in the freezer--what a change from last time around when I was constantly stressed about my milk supply!

In other news you have also turned into the smiliest baby!  All I have to do is look at you and you bust out the biggest gummy smile.  It makes my heart melt.  The best/worst is when you are nursing and I look down at you and you bust out a smile so all the milk in your mouth pours out all over your face.  It's like you can't even contain your happiness!  I love you SSOOOO much.  It's so easy to be your Mom and I can't believe how you just seem to fit so perfectly into our family.

The doctor says you are growing straight up on the growth curve (no curve for you!)!  12 pounds and 24 inches long!  Starting to wear less of your 0-3 months clothes and more of your 3-6 month stuff.  AND your eyes are still blue.....before you were born your Aunt Lily and I had a strong feeling you would have blue eyes and dark hair......it's very weird we were right.  And now we are just wondering if the eyes and hair will change.  I loved your sister's big brown eyes but your deep blue/grey eyes (I swear they turn purple in some lights) are just as magnificent!  You are lighter in complexion than your sister and you are starting to get the baby mullet!  And your personality is defintely goodball to the max!  Everyone says you look older than your age (just like they said about your sister).  We love you Remi Violet!

Just ignore the spit up on my sweatshirt....Happy two months!

One Month!

We did it!  Survived the first month with a newborn and a 3.5yo going on 16yo. We even did this despite a horrible paternity leave (Big sister was very sick the first week or two and then Daddy R got sick the following week--talk about some stress!).  I think overall, scond time around is SOOO much easier because you just have some of those weird "I never thought of that" things figured out.  Like, what do you sleep in?  Never thought this would be an issue but when you have engorged leaky breasts this is a HUGE conundrum.  I think the biggest factor playing into an easier second time though has to be fewer breastfeeding challenges!  No crying every time baby girl latches on, no bloody/cracked nipples with chunks missing, and Remi has gained back all of her weight and then some (well over 9 pounds!)! Hoorah!

Remi had a lip and tongue tie like her sister but this time I was not going to mess around.  While we were still in the hospital I had it correctly diagnosed (because I knew what to look for) and made an appointment to have it revised via laser.  She had the surgery when she was 2.5 weeks old.  All that being said, Remi was always a better and less painful nurser than her sister.  Dr. G (the ENT) reported that her lip tie was not very severe but her tongue tie was preventing her from using her tongue while nursing.  So the biggest problem was that she could not drain my breasts of milk properly and if I had not gotten things taken care of my supply would likely have started to diminish like last time.  This time around because things are so good I am consciously not allowing myself to stress out.  I only pump one time per day (compared to 5+ times per day last time around) and I am getting a good amount of milk in preparation for returning to work.

So who is this Remi Violet?!?!  Well, she is a big time sleeper!  She would sleep straight through the night and day if I did not wake her to eat (Because I fear she will go into a hypoglycemic coma)!  aahhhhhh this child.  Most nights she only wakes one or two times so I am a well-rested mama.  She also has already smiled a few times for me and loves when I say "Hhiiiiiiiiii Remi" (it gets her every time....well almost every time).  Most of the time, however, she has a very serious/concerned face.  Remi was born with wrinkles!  I have never seen a baby born with "concerned wrinkles" before and I hope as she grows to love life these wrinkles will fade because she is just to young for that business.  She also is a big time pooper.  I mean, this girl never has a clean diaper (hello diaper rash).  There is always just a little poop.  She is a super pooper and it just shoots out of her.  It has nailed me on several occasions which is just as fun as it sounds!  And man, she farts all of the time too!  I hope her tummy issues get sorted out soon because the gas seems to be painful at times.  She is very strong and has already rolled over several times from tummy to back.  She can lift her head for extended periods of time.  And you also will not believe how long this baby is....she grew out of newborn clothes at two weeks because her torso/legs were too long for them.  She is already almost out of 0-3 months now for the same reason.  No chubby rolls yet.  Slow down child--I want to savor your small tiny body.  Remi's favorite things in the world are baths.  She looks like a straight up narcoleptic because the moment she goes in she falls asleep.  And I'm talking falls asleep with a smile.  It's the cutest.  Lastly, she is the best cuddle bug and loves to be held.  She is also okay with not being held and we sometimes forget about her because she is just sleeping away..."Wait, what room did we leave her in again?"  (I now totally relate to all the parents who forget their child in the hot car --except I haven't done that thank goodness!!!).  Big sister LOVES being Remi's big sister.  We have to constantly remind her to be gentle because she wants to squeeze and pull non-stop in attempt to give her little sis as much physical attention as she can handle!

I must admit I had one "new mom" freak-out.  Remi's breathing is kind of strange....like she frequently gasps for breath, breaths loud, SNORES loud!, and sucks in a little upside down triangle under her neck....  I made the mistake of researching this during a 2am nursing sesh and then freaking out and calling the advice nurse.  I was told my baby was in respiratory distress and to call 911 for an ambulance!  I did not do that but I certainly took her into the ER while Daddy R said, "I'm going back to bed."  The MD was like, "why are you here?"  In my defense she also had a stomach bug and had diarrhea and vomited once.  She refused to nurse for like 6 hours as well....but still.  "A very expensive freak-out" according to Daddy R.  Whoops.

Here are some pics from baby Rem's first month:

First smile? (aka gas). 

They are sisters! (A on left, R on right)

And sisters are the best!

Sweetest Remi.

Because we have a similar picture with her big sister and Daddy.

Remi Violet is one month old!!!

Birth Notes

Our wonderful doula has her own recollection of the birth.  And many of her notes she took in real time.  Very cool to see things from another perspective.  Here is the unedited account of what she sent us:

On Monday March 7th I received a text from Ryan at 11:01 AM stating:  "...Zoe's water broke this morning and we are checked into labor and delivery.  They are about to start the IV antibiotics. Contractions are sporadic."  At 12:17 you texted:  "..Zoe's contractions have picked up.  Do you mind starting the process of coming over?"  I arrived at 1:17 PM.  Zoe took a shower and we did a guided relaxation (baby come scripts).  You and Ryan rested a short bit after this.  

At 2:15 we went out to the deck to get some fresh air and at 2:30 we walked stairs.  We returned to the room at 2:50 and you sat on the birth ball doing circles while they monitored baby (you were off at 3:20).  The midwife chatted with you about using a breastpump so they began more monitoring at 3:35.  She also discussed possibly using pitocin.  At 3:40 you were put on the telemetry monitor and at 4:10 you started using the breastpump.  You stopped briefly at 4:40 and then started up again until 5.  Contractions began to get stronger and you were feeling more crampy.  

At 5:15 I went down to eat dinner and returned at 5:40.  You did some abdominal lifts and lots of walking.  At 6:05 you were checked (you were 4 centimeters, 80 percent effaced, and baby was minus 1).  At 6:10 you decided to go ahead with the pitocin.  At 6:25 there was a shift to stronger contractions and less talking between and you began moaning with each contractions.  At 6:30 they started to administer the pitocin.  Your dinner (pizza) also arrived at this moment!  I remember you saying, "ok, I'm ready to get things going, let's start the pitocin."  The nurse left to get it, you sat up and went from talking in a 'normal' state' to moaning and looking like you were in active labor. It was a big shift in about 10 seconds!  When the nurse came back into the room, you were in active labor.  She hesitated to even start the pitocin but did anyways since the decision had been made but I think her gut was telling her that it was not necessary anymore.  

Anyway, you did not eat any of the pizza but labored on instead.  You got very cold and shaky.  At 7:10 you were up and rocking with full back to back contractions.  At 7:25 they turned off the pitocin.  You were feeling lots of pressure.  At 7:29you sat at the end of the bed with a ball and you started to vocalize and stand with the contractions (I don't know how else to describe this but you began to make the beautiful sounds that only a woman in labor can produce).  At 7:45 you went to the restroom and got checked right after (you were now 5 centimeters).  You decided to go to the tub at this point after some walking and moving around the room. I informed your doctor that your previous labor progressed rather quickly once you felt like pushing so she had the team start setting up the birth tub even though they normally would wait.  

At 8:10 you got into the tub and were unable to stop pushing so you got out by 8:25.  Once back in the room you got checked again (you were now a 7).  There was lots of pressure and things got very intense.  You leaned over and told Ryan that you needed to bite something.  At 8:50 you used some nitrous and kept saying "I can't see you" when we would talk to you. You were complete at 9 and the midwife said "would you like to get into the tub?"  You said "No, I want to have my baby now."  You leaned forward and pushed her out at 9:03!  

I didn't get all the notes I normally get because things (once they got going) went so rapidly, it was difficult to keep my notes going and support you and a few things somehow didn't get into my notes (next time I will not keep my notes on my phone but on scratch paper because that would not have happened!).  I think I got a decent amount though!  You were amazing!   

Remi Violet's Birth Story

If you don't want all the gory details...because there is no way around gore when it comes to a birth...then here is the general story:

1. Water kind of broke...maybe
2. No labor started, waited hours, tried everything, felt stressy
3. Was given Pitocin and had the rest of my water broken with a "crochet hook"
4. Violent, unbearable pain
5.  Baby came flying out and surprised everyone (except me)!

If you want to know the details of how it all played out....keep reading:

It all started with my mom's chicken pot pie.  Because this was the last meal I ate before giving birth to daughter #1.  And given that it was a day past my official due date of March 5th my Mom was desperate to try anything to get to meet her newest grand baby.  As for me, I love my Mom's chicken pot pie and meeting this baby would be nice.  We went over to my Mom's for dinner and the chicken pot pie was so delicious I kept eating and eating.  Seconds, thirds, and "one more helping."  Right before dessert I suddenly felt sick.  And started to get cramps.  And then contractions.  Then I went into the bathroom and out came bloody mucous plug.  My Mom was delighted.  No dessert for me.  I went home and went immediately to bed while loosely timing contractions.  Daddy stayed up and I'm pretty sure spent the night nesting on my behalf.  Worked on framing pictures for baby's room and making food.  I had weird dreams and contractions throughout the night.  I woke up around 4am and felt very wet.  In the bathroom I could see liquid went through my underwear and my PJ bottoms.  But when my water broke with #1 it was like the movies with a full on waterfall in my pants.  This was just confusing.  "I might have peed?" I concluded.  I put a pad on and went back to bed.  Around 6:30am I got up again.  The pad was a little wet but again, not like how things were when my water broke the first time.  I was still having some contractions but not regular.  Daddy asked if he should stay home "just in case" but I didn't want him to waste taking a day off work so he left.  I got daughter #1 out of bed and off to school all while having contractions.  When I got home things really picked up.  To the point where I was having trouble walking.  I decided I better call the midwives.

The midwives wanted me to come in to get checked.  I was unsure I could make the drive to the hospital but also did not want to bother anyone.  I sucked it up and did it.  But halfway there I thought, "This was a really bad idea."  I panicked and called Daddy R to the rescue.  But it was too late and he could not rescue me.  He met me at the doctors right after they concluded my water had indeed broken.  They were admitting me to have the baby!

I was checked in.  I ordered lunch.  I ate lunch.  I felt awesome.  Too awesome.  I waited for things to get bad.  I tried all the normal tricks.  I walked the five flights of stairs countless times.  I tried positive affirmations "I am a birth warrior."  I even thought..."I am so good at birth, this is not even hurting"....but I was just in delusional lala land.  Our doula tried pressure points.  I tried different positions.  Things would get bad but no regular contractions.  They even hooked me up to a hospital grade breast pump to see if nipple stimulation would work.  I truly did not understand.  I was so scared to get my first IV (I was group B strep positive this time around and required penicillin) but even that wasn't bad at all.  The stinging everyone talked about just felt like a cool refreshing sensation! Around 6pm (I delivered baby #1 around 6pm and couldn't help thinking "this is supposed to be over by now) my midwife started talking pitocin.  And I burst into tears.  I could just see the writing on the wall.  Hospital intervention #1 is pitocin followed by emergency cesarean.  I read all of the horror birth stories.  And it was about to happen to me.  My hopes of a natural childbirth were finished.  I was being so dramatic per usual.  Luckily my awesome birthing team talked some sense into me.  And my doula advocated to try the breaking of the waters to make sure they were all the way broken.

I had my first cervical check at this point and I was 4 centimeters dilated.  The midwife stuck a "crochet hook" up me to make sure the waters were broken and out poured a little bit more liquid.  But nothing major and she did not feel hopeful it would help.  BUT boy was she wrong!  Minutes after she left the room I started having violent contractions.  Not the type of contractions that happen every few minutes.  Nope.  It felt more like active labor moving into transition.  The Nurse looked very unsure if she should start the pitocin but made a comment like, "Well, the doctor already put the orders in."  The pitocin started and things just got worse.  Like all hell broke loose worse.  They started the pitocin on the lowest possible dosage of 1.  Minutes later the Nurse ran out of the room to find the doctor to see if they could stop it.  Things get blurry after this.

I remember the following: Wanting to birth in water because this was helpful with daughter #1.  Not being able to walk to the jacuzzi tub down the hall because I felt the overwhelming sensation to bear down and push out a baby.  Getting in the tub for about 5 seconds before screaming "the baby is coming out!"  The doctors and nurses yelling at me not to have the baby in the jacuzzi tub.  A mad dash to get me back to my room.  The midwife checking me to only find that I was dilated to a 7.  Attempting to bite Ryan and having a washcloth shoved in my mouth (they were prepared this time around).  Telling people I was too hot (they took blankets off me) and 1 second later complaining I was too cold (they put them all back on me).  Screaming and cursing (I never cursed with baby #1).  Begging people to help me.  Waiting for the RNs to hook up the nitrous to try and help the pain.  Took two puffs of nitrous and was again screamed at by an RN that I needed some education about how to use the nitrous because I was "poisoning everyone in the room" by blowing it out.  BUT this was no time for education because I again informed everyone the baby was coming out.  The RNs and midwife reminded me that I was not ready to have the baby yet because I was only dilated to a 7. I continued to insist that the baby was coming and the MD checked me again and confirmed I was right.  I heard, "I see the head!" followed by a mad dash from the midwife and RNs to get ready.  Because nobody was ready except me.  I pushed my sweet baby out without even having a contraction.   At this point, I didn't even care if I tore.  I wanted the pain to stop.  I wanted to meet my daughter.  And with all my might I pushed the hardest I could and out she came!  They threw her on my chest and I was in heaven (still in a lot of pain) but happy pain!  When the midwife asked if she could check me for tearing I exclaimed, "Yes, I tore wide open!"  but to my amazement she said, "Nope, no tears at all."  Unbelievable.  My perfect baby girl was born at 9:03pm. She nursed three hours following her birth which is unheard of apparently.  The RNs kept coming in to check if she was done so they could move me to the recovery room but nope.  My little girl was hungry!   I spent the rest of the night dozing in and out of sleep and loving on her.

Having her thrown on my chest directly following pushing her out. 

All done! :)

Introducing Remi Violet.
Born on 3/7/16 at 9:03pm.  7Ibs 15.5 Oz, 21 inches long.
Full head of dark black hair, dark blue eyes, small head, blonde eyelashes, and absolutely perfect! <3

39 Weeks

Welp.  I am more pregnant than I have ever been before.  Last time around I mentally prepared myself to go 42 weeks and I was shocked when my water broke at 39 weeks.  This time around I knew in the back of my mind that I could go to 42 weeks but I just sort of assumed baby would be like her sister and come a little early.  Nope.  Baby seems quite content.  Still having regular contractions but nothing else is really going on except for some pretty extreme tiredness.  Like, I could sleep 24/7 if it did not hurt my back so much...and if I wasn't getting hungry all of the time.  I even panicked the other day when I thought about how much energy it takes to have a baby and how I have zero energy in reserve thanks to my crazy work schedule.  I have been getting about 5-6 hours of sleep per night and this just doesn't seem adequate.  So now I am trying to think that baby might not come until 42 weeks and that will just have to be okay.  As long as baby is healthy I am fine with however long she wants to cook for....just excited to meet her!

39 Weeks and still pregnant!

38 Weeks

Last time around I'm pretty sure this was my last post because Baby Girl #1 came right on my 39th week 0 days.  We will see what happens this time!  I've been having some pretty regular contractions at night so I can tell my body is preparing!  They have been a minute long and 5 minutes a part but stop before that 1 hour mark.  Hospital bag is packed!  Now the waiting game begins....

38 Week Bump